How to offer support when someone may be struggling

While offering support can feel intimidating, this guide provides simple ways to notice, listen, and walk alongside someone who may be struggling.

Spotting the signs

Possible signs someone may need help.

Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities they used to enjoy.

Changing sleep, eating, or energy patterns in a big way.

Using substances, shopping, or busyness to cope.

Showing frequent irritability, anger, or outbursts.

Talking about feeling hopeless, trapped, or like a burden.

Declining in work or school performance.

Neglecting self-care or responsibilities.

Sometimes the first step isn’t speaking or fixing — it’s noticing what’s happening beneath the surface.

Opening the door

Give yourself permission to not have all the answers.

Focus on care, not fixing.

Remember: listening matters more than solutions.

Remember: listening matters more than solutions.

Things you might say:

I’ve noticed you’ve seemed [tired/overwhelmed] lately. How are you really doing?

You’re important to me. I want to listen — no fixing, just listening.

I care about you and I want to make sure you are not carrying this alone.

For teens: I might not fully get what you’re going through, but I want to understand.

Things to avoid:

Just snap out of it.

It’s not that bad.

Others have it worse.

Starting a conversation can feel small, but even a few kind words can create space for someone to share what’s been hard.

Offering support

Tap for small, easy, and gentle suggestions.

Offer steady presence without controlling the outcome.

Notice what parents or others may miss.

Possible ways to offer love.

Practical support | Offer a ride, share resources, cook a meal.

Emotional support | Check in regularly, even with a simple, Thinking of you.

Professional support | Encourage them to talk with a doctor, counselor, or peer support.

Words that help:

I care about you.

Lots of people need support at different times — it doesn’t mean you’re broken.

Support doesn’t have to be grand or complicated — it’s often the quiet presence and steady care that matters most.

When immediate safety is a concern

Know what to do when safety is a concern.

• Take talk of self-harm or danger seriously.
• Reach out to crisis services or emergency help right away.
• Open LifeLine Canada for more support.

A gentle script:

I’m not sure how to handle this on my own. Let’s explore some options together.

Most of the time, support is about listening, being present, and walking beside someone. But sometimes the waters get rougher — and safety itself becomes the concern.

For parents & grandparents

Notice how children and teens often show stress.

Watch for irritability, secrecy, or sudden withdrawal.

Pay attention to drops in school performance or risky behavior.

Tips for starting the conversation:

Stay curious

Can you help me understand what’s been tough lately?

Listen

I’m here for you.

Reassure

You don’t have to go through this alone.

Caring for children, teens, or grandchildren can feel overwhelming, but knowing how to gently reach out can make all the difference.

Closing thought

Think of one person in your life you’ve worried about.

What’s one small, nonjudgmental step you could take to gently open the door?

Even the softest wave leaves a mark on the shore.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, unsure, or needing guidance yourself, visit the Safe Harbour Kit for ideas on how to ask for help.